Why is there no "girls' club"?
A look at the protective habits of men vs. the solitary attitude of women
by Ray Bass
As women, we all know about “boys’ clubs”—when men develop strong bonds and friendships with other men in the workplace and look out for each other’s success (especially when it comes to raises and promotions). These boys’ clubs act as cliques that offer benefits such as guidance, mentorship, and support to their members.
Boys’ clubs are prevalent in corporate America, and notoriously impossible for women to break into. Unfortunately, this can result in women being passed over for positions of power and leadership, or paid less than their male counterparts. Men seem to have an unspoken understanding in the workplace—it’s a loyalty that’s survived for decades.
But what about us? Why is there no “girls club?” Why are women more competitive with one another in the workplace, instead of joining forces?
To understand this behavior, I spoke to Dr. Sheree Motta, a clinical psychologist who has been in practice for 30 years. Below, she shared her thoughts about why boys’ clubs exist and why there’s no such system for women.
Ray: To start, why do you think men tend to be more communal and less competitive with one another in the workplace?
Dr. Motta: Men have always been taught communal behavior and the need to work together as a team, even back to the caveman days—sports being the easiest parallel. You can draw a lot of parallels between sports and corporate America. Though women have bridged gaps in sports, it’s still male-dominated—you can look at pay inequality as an obvious indicator. Also, studies have shown that men have higher confidence in the workplace. They often feel more secure in their job in fields that are male-dominated, and thus they don’t feel the need to compete for a spot, promotion, or raise.
Ray: When you put it that way, it makes a lot of sense—and definitely aligns with what I’ve seen in the workplace. On the flip side, why do you think women tend to be more competitive with one another?
Dr. Motta: Well first, statistics still speak to inequality in the workplace. Women think there are less spots for them, so they’ll do whatever it takes to get promotions, pay increases, etc. They have a perceived notion that if another woman succeeds, it will hurt their chances of succeeding, so they feel threatened.
Ray: It’s interesting that you say that, because personally, I’ve always made close female friends at my jobs, but my most critical bosses were always female. They often didn’t advocate for other females to get raises or promotions, or if they did, they still made sure other women stayed below themselves. In your opinion, why do you think that is? Are women more likely to be hard on other women at work?
Dr. Motta: There are a number of causes for that, actually. Women typically feel that it’s safer to take out their aggression on women than men. Also, back to what I said earlier, women feel that another woman succeeding hurts their chances of success. Not to mention, there’s the notion that women are perceived as “nurturing” and “sensitive,” so women often feel the need to prove that they can be assertive, which can come out in aggressive ways.
Ray: So why do you think men advocate for each other more in the workplace than women?
Dr. Motta: There are more opportunities for men to advance in their careers—literally speaking, there’s a larger number of spots for promotion. They’ve also adopted the “good old men” mentality that’s been part of corporate America since the beginning. The idea that if I scratch your back, you’ll scratch mine. That was established well before women entered the workforce, and exists informally in corporate settings today. Women haven’t established the same camaraderies, and most of these groups exclude women—like the golf course, for example.
Ray: What about female-dominated industries? Do you think that women compete as rigorously in those fields (education, nutrition, caretaking, etc.)—where there are presumably more spots for women at the top—as they do in male-dominated industries (banking, tech, etc.)?
Dr. Motta: They probably don’t compete to the same extent, because we’re talking about more nurturing environments here. In female-dominated industries, there tends to be more of an acceptance of that softer side for women—the sensitivity and compassion. They don’t feel the need to compete as much when there are more spots for the taking.
Ray: Last question—what do you think it would take for a “girls club” to form, and for women to trust, value, and advocate for other women in the workplace?
Dr. Motta: It would need to start with women making a conscious effort to recognize the successes of other women in their workplace. We’d have to shift away from the mindset that there’s limited spaces for us. Above all, we’d need to focus on building trust with other women and growing those circles within our respective workplaces.