Why it's important to sing your own praises at work

by Ray Bass

At some point in our lives, we’ve probably all heard the phrase “no one likes a braggart.” And as women, we often put our heads down and let our work speak for itself—confident that our efforts and worth will be recognized. But in the modern workplace, that’s not always the case. In reality, those who sing their own praises tend to have better outcomes than those who don’t (higher raises, more frequent promotions, etc.). This creates an unequal dynamic between men and women, as women tend to downplay their own successes, while men don’t hesitate to promote themselves. 

Harvard Business Review was actually able to quantify this large gender gap in self-promotion in a study—finding that men rate their performance 33% higher than equally performing women. And, according to HBR, that self-promotion paid off: workers who rated themselves (aka promoted themselves and their work) higher were more likely to be hired and offered higher pay. In general, studies find that women self-promote less at work, oftentimes fearing that they’ll be viewed as bossy, loud, or overconfident. Given that self-promotion is necessary to advance in the workplace, this leaves women at a disadvantage.

Now, we’ve all seen people who are very self-promotional at work. They can be seen walking around the office talking about how hard they’re working or how late they work, and they make sure that everyone knows when they’ve accomplished something worthwhile. Sure, we may sit there and pass judgment, thinking that they’re full of themselves and cringe-worthy, but there is something we can learn from this behavior: we need to promote ourselves more at work. 

Here’s why you should, and how to go about it the right way. 

Why you should promote yourself and your work more

As employees, we tend to think that because we know how hard we’re working, our employers and colleagues do, too. We think they know how many extra hours we’re putting in, how much we prepared for that meeting, and why we should be promoted. Spoiler: They usually don’t. Most people are only paying attention to themselves at work, and maybe those they directly manage. You may have the spotlight on you when you accomplish something major (or when something goes wrong under your watch), but as far as noticing your day-to-day work ethic, they may as well have blinders on. That’s why people who publicize their achievements tend to get ahead at work—they make sure their employer or manager is fully aware of their impact, so when it comes time to decide who should be awarded opportunities, they come to mind first.

Early on in my career, I showed up to a mid-year evaluation thinking that I had a raise or promotion in the bag, only to realize that my boss was unaware of how many fires I’d put out, how many people I’d helped, and how many successes I played a role in. I spent most of the meeting trying to fill in the gaps, and by then it was too late, decisions had already been made. Why didn’t she know? Because I let my work go unnoticed and unacknowledged, and she’d forgotten the nitty gritty details. I have no doubt that this influenced the raise I received and my overall standing at the company. Had I made more of an effort to consistently communicate the favorable outcomes I’d influenced and my overall work ethic, I wouldn’t have had to retroactively ask for praise or justify why I should receive higher compensation. 

To be clear, the takeaway here isn’t that you should become an overly confident, arrogant person in the workplace, because the people around you will notice that, and studies show they will dislike you for it. Instead, try to strip away any shyness or hesitance you have around being your own advocate. Research has shown that self-confidence is a key determinant of success in the workplace, and there are ways to promote yourself that don’t require over-the-top bragging.

How to promote yourself without being an a*s

It’s clear that there are advantages you can gain by being more self-promotional (again, we’re not talking about being the person in the office bragging on their accomplishments without any evidence to back it up—we’re talking about voicing what you’re doing and being confident in your work). 

The question is, then, how can you do this without being seen as obnoxious? Thankfully, it’s easier than you think. 

1. Capitalize on existing opportunities to talk about your work.

Almost everyone has some form of team meeting and/or one-on-one meeting on their calendar at least once a month, maybe even weekly. These are prime opportunities to communicate your efforts—existing opportunities that you probably aren’t taking advantage of right now. When your boss asks how you are or what you’re working on, avoid giving a vague, deflective answer, such as: “I’m doing well, things are busy but I’m handling it.” A much better answer would sound something like, “I’ve sent all the necessary onboarding paperwork to the client and set up weekly calls to discuss any obstacles or issues they’re having with the process. I also spent a few hours on the phone with their tech team, walking them through the installation process and ensuring that data was coming through to our end. After discussing Q1 goals with their head of marketing, I realized they could be a good fit for our upsell product, so I connected her to a customer success rep here. As of now, we’re on track to hit our onboarding deadline.”

See how much more information those few sentences provide? You don’t have to dominate the meeting to adequately promote yourself. Not only does this answer give your boss tangible examples of your work, but it reminds them of why they should be confident in you as an employee. It’s worth noting that not everyone at your company needs an in-depth level of detail—a co-worker or someone in a more senior position might not care about the nitty gritty work and steps you took, and would instead be interested in the major takeaways and wins. Making sure you have a clear understanding of the work you’re doing will ensure that you can cater the conversation to touch on what that specific person cares about. 

Bottom line: You’re allowed to talk about your successes and you’re allowed to say when you’re proud of something you’ve done. Don’t let fear of judgment stop you from doing so. 

2. Document all of your accomplishments. 

I give this advice to every person I know: From the second you start a new job, you should have a personal Word document (or even a draft on your personal email account) where you document everything you do. This is especially important if you work remotely—you aren’t interacting with colleagues and management in-person and it may be harder for you to speak up in crowded virtual meetings. And during this era of Covid-19, when having multiple virtual meetings a day is the norm, you want to make sure nothing is lost in translation. 

Now, you don’t have to write “I went to X meeting this morning,” but taking note of when you get praised, your ideas are loved, or you did something that helped the company is one way to make sure your work is accounted for. I’ve referred to these notes when giving weekly updates to my managers, for end of month progress reports, and as a jumping off point for evaluations (you can even create a separate document with a well-formatted version of your notes a week or so ahead of your evaluation, so your manager can take everything into consideration before deciding on pay and promotions). 

When an idea of yours is used, write down the date, what the idea was, and who said what about it. When you receive praise in an email, screenshot or copy and paste it into the doc and jot down some context. When a project launches or you complete a significant task, note the date, hours spent, the outcome, and any positive feedback. Keeping your own log of accomplishments makes it easy to sing your own praises—and you should if you did the work!

3. Acknowledge and appreciate the accomplishments or others.

At times, the workplace can be an overly competitive, cut-throat kind of place, and I know I’m not the only one who is tired of the toxicity that culture breeds. As employees, we should be raising each other up and giving credit where it’s due. Not only will you be paying it forward and making a gesture of goodwill towards a colleague (that will make them feel great!), but they’re also more likely to see you positively and make sure your successes are seen. It’s important to advocate for yourself, and we should all do it more, but having social proof and the support of others is another priceless asset in the workplace. You want to be seen as someone who recognizes both other people’s worth and your own.

Bragging in the workplace can be a huge turnoff, but there’s a difference between advocating for yourself and being obsessed with yourself. It’s not something you have to do every day—think of self-promotion as a tool in your toolkit; you can use it or not, but it’s a strategy and it’s shown to work. Hopefully these tips give you a better understanding of the right way to sing your praises, and land you the opportunities for advancement you deserve.